MOLIN Spin Doctor

Believe it or not. There was a time when politicians said things they had thought of themselves and actually meant.

Judging by the results, that may not have been a good idea.

Ever since we invented the welfare state, we have tried to keep it standing while successive politicians tested how much it could take. So at MOLIN, we have added the spin doctor to our range.

A human trained at the group-work factory in Roskilde to say something that, even after thorough analysis, turns out not to contain an actual statement.

You know the result. Politicians all sound much the same. Their spin doctors move between them anyway, so there is no reason to rewrite everything.

Supplied ready to use. Opinions included by arrangement.

An immaculately pressed adviser with a discreet earpiece, a charged phone and an explanation that has already been approved.

Can acknowledge your concern, take it very seriously and avoid answering your question.

Contents may change political direction.

Unpack the spin doctor before speaking in public. If you have already said what you mean, allow a little extra processing time.

Ask one simple question and allow plenty of time for the answer. Repeat the question if you would like to hear the wording again.

When switching parties, simply change the letters on the back of him, her or any of the other options.

We wanted to know what a spin doctor actually does, so we invited one to a meeting.

He thanked us for the question, acknowledged the premise and stressed the need for a broader conversation.

We added him to the range when we could not get him to leave anyway.

Because someone should have stopped us.